| There's not a hole in your heart or your head if you don't want there to be |
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[Tuesday
May 26th, 2009
3:11pm] |
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My livejournal never lets me update from work. so fucking annoying.
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[Monday
May 4th, 2009
1:02pm] |
Sep 10, 2007 12:07 PMWhy does it feel like we live further from each other now than when I lived in LA?
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[Wednesday
January 21st, 2009
9:08am] |
so I'm getting in a LJ fight with some dumb bitch over at TAILJ and it's just reminding me of the good ol' times.
Fucking hilarious.
This girl's a year older than me, it's so funny.
I'm glad some things can keep me amused while at work.
hahaha one of the first things she said was how she was surprised I didn't namedrop anyone in my reply.
Directly after pretending she's not jealous.
Which is just funny in and of itself, considering that's exactly what it is.
I'm having way more fun with this than I should be.
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[Sunday
January 18th, 2009
3:47am] |
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holy shit Albanian alcohol.
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[Sunday
October 26th, 2008
1:24pm] |
hahaha so omg
earlier this week, well i guess last week...monday or tuesdays this kid Ryan called me at work and asked to speak to a manager, and i talked to him and he wanted to come use our salon for a video project at school. I told him Sunday would be the best because we're closed so they're here right now and it's so awkward hahaha seriously I'm just luaghing watching them right nwo it's great. it's for a Spanish project so they sound so funny. haha
whatever. I have to not interupt them.
this is so cute.
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[Monday
July 28th, 2008
5:19pm] |
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Fuck.
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[Monday
July 7th, 2008
7:16pm] |
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I'm so confused about everything.
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[Friday
June 27th, 2008
5:31pm] |
oh my god i am such an idiot. I made a complete ass of myself last night. I am so very embarassed, and you know that doesn't happen often. I'm not saying I didn't have an absolutely fabulous time, and I'm also not saying that I won't be going out in a week and a half for Heather's birthday...however, I'll attempt to control myself at least a bit better. Dear God, I think it was the added combination of losing my mind due to lack of sleep.
In case you're unaware of my schedule lately, I work two 10 hour days and four 13 hour days and it's nuts. Next week will be better, I have two 10 hour days, one 13 hour day, two six hour days and the 4th OFF. So that will be very nice.
My mother and I are going to see Get Smart on Sunday :)
OH, and Katie and I are getting the Quantum Wellness book, even though I dislike Oprah, I read about it and researched it a little bit. I knew what I had to cut out of my diet, and I thought it was for 3 months, I come to find out it's 3 weeks, which is 21 days. So obviously I think i can do it. I think I'm not even going to wait until I move, I might do it sooner.
Ohhhhh.
I'm at work and I want to just go home and go out with my best friend and then diveeeeeee into bed.
xoxox
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[Monday
April 14th, 2008
9:13am] |
I miss having passion.
I feel kind of empty late.
I've started counting down the days until I lose one of my best friends.
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[Sunday
March 30th, 2008
8:33pm] |
who the fuck are you to think you understand anything.
Regardless I'm starting to feel a bit better, and a bit less worthless.
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
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[Saturday
March 29th, 2008
2:10am] |
I just want to move so badly. I'm thinking I might go to SoCal for 6 months before I go to Australia. It'll be a lot easier to do in terms of me not having a passport and having to get a work visa to be able to work out of the country...so I think I'll wait and go to Australia later on in m life. I still want to save a bunch of money first.
I need to just get away. far away. figure everything out. I've lost so many things and people and I can't take it. I want something to be my choice.
it doesn't help that I can't stand looking in the mirror. I used to either not totally hate how I looked, or though that I looked good. I am now absolutely hating everything about how I look, and it sucks. I'm not used to that. I've always had more confidence than I do now.
I want to just break away. I don't know how to explain it but I really really need it, and I am kind of upset that I don't have the money and the means to do it now.
Everything has been so shitty lately. I've been feeling left out all of the time when sometimes I am being left out, and others I'm just being paranoid. Mostly it's not paranoia, though. On top of that the most amazing person that I know is being crushed. everything's just been horrible. I have some amazing coworkers though. we stayed late after work today while I was cleaning the salon the girls were getting ready to go out, and Heather sent Danielle to the liquor store next door to get lemonade and raspberry vodka to make drinks for us because she said I needed it. haha that's why I love my coworkers. I was going to go out with them, but of course I turned that down because I was going to see one of my best friends who, surprisingly, blew me off..again. Losing him was probably the biggest fuck up of my life. it's one thing I wish I could change. He's an amazing person.
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[Sunday
February 24th, 2008
8:14am] |
i just got home. it's 8am.
i don't hate him, but fuck what "hey chris" said. because tonight i let someone make me float to my room. and talk about how amazing he was.
tonight everything was so perfect. i've never felt so amazing, that i can recall, in my whole enitre life. he'd be pleased to know he beat out every tbs show wever.
i am in such a daze right now. probably not safe to have my swiriving ass on the road, but i m ade it home without hitting anyone/thing.
i'm going to attemp;t to sleep for a few hours. becy and nikki are in mhy bed so i'm on my living room floor.
i am so in lust/like.
HIGH AS A KITE AND I JSUT MIGHT STOPT O CHECK YOU OUT!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhh
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[Wednesday
February 6th, 2008
1:01am] |
i dont' know what to do or think. i miss dean already and i just was with him for like 4 hours sunday night/monday morning.
i just had a good 15 minute, outloud, speech in my room alone. going through everything that happened with each of them, when everthing started and how i stand now, and it didnt help and i thought it would. i'm so upset.
however, I was watching super tuesdays up until an hour ago when i brought myself to bed, and Obama was holdin' it down giving his speech in Chi. It would be a nice change to not be embarassed of who is representing this country. It'd be cute to see someone in power that knows how to speak and not sound like an ass.
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[Tuesday
November 27th, 2007
2:09pm] |
OKAY SO TODAY WAS PERFECT, ESPECIALLY AFTER LAST NIGHT.
I had a horrrrrrrrible night. Honestly probably the worst night I've had discluding the entire weekend of HELL last September. Nothing will EVER compare to that. So anyway. Today has been great. I've been texting nickdrake and deannn and tomorrow I'm going to deans apartment to see him/play beer pong among other things. after like five thousand years of not seeing him. haha.
ANDDDDD I'm taking some vacation days at work and going to North Carolina to visit Nick. sometime soon. early 08. I'm going to stay at his apartment apparently, even though I think he'll get sick of me after a day. HA.
Today the kids and i made pizza and christmas cookies. we're fucking cute, we know.
ummmmmm bryan messaged me on myspace about how i don't talk to him anymore. i feel like shit. I'm such an asshole, BUT OH WELL BECAUSE I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
today i only work for 4 hours and it's with Bonnnnie and i love her so it should be okay. she always puts me in a good mood even when I'm in a shitty one...and I'm actually in a GOOD mood already so i'm excited.
LIFEEEEEEEE.
forget that last post, because obviously i was being emotional. and jealous. OOPS.
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[Monday
November 12th, 2007
1:16am] |
I'm totally living in the past, but with all good reasons.
I seriously have the cutest life everrrr. and I'm so lucky. and I do realize that.
so many amazing things coming up.
it's so good to not let the little shit bother you.
it's so good to keep in mind what's real, and what's important.
I've recently rediscovered that this one boy I know is so amazing. I miss talking to him. i miss so much.
On another note, we're all going to look DAMN fine at the fob show next week.
this coming weekend should be great, ps.
ummm i need to sleep before i die.
love. [from the dance floor]
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[Tuesday
October 30th, 2007
1:41pm] |
the amount of weight I've gained is so nausiating, to tell you the truth.
New Law and Order SVU is on tonight. With Ludaaaaa so that should be fun.
Not until 10, so I think after work I'm going to go run for like an hour or something so I can stop being so gross. cute.
ummmm i really don't want to go to work!!!
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[Sunday
October 28th, 2007
10:25pm] |
today was a good day.
i love my life.
tomorrow my niece is going to be at my work all day with me so i'm excited.
i need to go on a damn vacation sometime soon. just get away for a week.
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[Monday
October 8th, 2007
9:01am] |
"come hang out with me me and my girlfriend are fighting"
20 minutes later i call because i'm ready to leave after taking a shower
"oh, well, um, you can come over if you want but uh um, me and my girlfriend are going to hang out."
CUTE, NOT.
I usually don't mind being used and walked all over, but it's gotten to the point where redundancy isn't strong enough a word. I am sooo fed up with everything. Not that it matters, because like i told charlie, sometimes it doesn't matter what how you KNOW you should feel. How you wish you DIDNT care. because you just can't change feelings that strong/set and you just do care. sucks, huh?? this has happened with one other person in my life. And that time period of my life was HELL.
Well Satan, bring out the commitee and WELCOME ME THE FUCK BACK!!!!!
I'm starting to devise games I can play.
I'm going to make this fun. And fuck anyone that tries to get in my way.
This is MY time to fucking call the shots. and this is MY time to not give a fuck about consequences. Fuck what I may be doing to myself, you're going to feel it when it gets to you.
by the way. i'm totally delerious and slept for maybe 2 hours last night, so please understand that this might not all make sens to you, but in my pretty little head it sure does.
ps. the intensity starts now.
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[Monday
October 1st, 2007
10:21pm] |
Okay soooo..
My niece is little itty bitty. i went to see her yesterday. it was her week "birthday". she lost weight, and gained it back so she's still a little less than 3 and a half pounds.
i drove my daddy to the airport today. i get his car/house for a few weeks. cute.
Paula was over this weekend. i miss her sooo much. i'm going over there the weekend of the 17th of november, to visit their dorms and see quietdrive. excitement. november 9th is all time low and stuff so they'll be here. fall out boy is november 20thhhh.
one of my friends is dealing with a pregnancy issue. idk what to tell them.
and i'm not sure what i'm doing for halloween. my roommate and i might go to tara's annual halloween party. i promised i'd go because i skipped last year.
october 21 i want to go to Cedar point for halloweekends. any takers? i'll drive my daddy's jeep. it's got only 5 seats, though. let me know.
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[Thursday
September 27th, 2007
1:50pm] |
i am in such a damn good mood!!!
paula and katie come home tomorrow, and so that meanssss
work til 8 (paula's comning in at 4) homecoming game at stoney after
Ryanssss with the girls after that
work all day saturday. babysit til maybe 12?
thennnn paula and katie are coming over and staying the night
sunday we're going to MONGO at 12. the one on m59
then they leave for school.
i go to my dads for his birthday
spend the night
why?
because earlllllly monday i take him to the airport.
and keep his house/car for two weeks. coooool. which means i get to visit dean.
why?
because i get to legally drive again on the 30th! the dumbness is over the 29th at midnight. so i can drive starting the 30th. COOL SO EXCITED. still restricted to only family members....gay.
anywayyyy i'm in a really good mood about everything.
i thought ry was mad at me but he's not so that makes life less stressful.
i need to work less. go out more.
io love my apartment and how cute my roommate/best friend and i are. we went gorcery shopping last night. hahaha so cute.
next weekend i have to go to homecoming. i wasn't too thrilled about all that shit when i was IN high school going with people that i KNOW. and now i'm OUT of high school and im being suckered into going to charlies homecoming with him. he's 16, a junior, and i don't know anyone at his school. cool that should be fun. i'm trying to not get mad about it. i'm telling him i'm not going out afterwards, and i'll just to hang out with more fun people after....cool.
pics should be great though.
um okay i'm going to go for a walk with addyson and adnrew because wer'e bored!!!!
great idea.
xolajflakjdfxooxoxox
love.
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